Deepa, you feel like that bomb sweater this is your most favorite comfortable sweater which makes you feel comfortable You know, I'm a tough girl,I don't get easily influenced by anyone, But I don't know how to ignore you,But you are so loveable
Listen,text me once you reach home you are leaving? When will you meet? When are you coming?
Wow! Finally we are staying for 3 days Deepa,
Listen,you come here tonight,I have made all the arrangements, We will spend the night together.
Deepa you are exactly like my potential partner. but.. but.. ! There are all the things she had told me,
NOW, this story ends here.
But every ending story starts from somewhere. So this story also started just like that beautiful story in a very filmy Bollywood style, But, my friends, this is not a love story,
This is a story of realizing when to run,
This is a story of learning to say no,
This is a story of knowing that sometimes, it's not love.
You know, when you lose in love and give a chance to a new person, you get more scared than before you are afraid that this relationship might break,that this person might have you like this، that the might get you into trouble.The most beautiful thing about Every love story is that you take that risk despite of all the unknowings.
So, when we met for first time, everything was just Like a Karan Johar movie.
There was strong wind,time was running,
There was crowd around us ,and it was me and him, because we met at a metro station.
You know,in the first meeting,the lines of our hands didn't hug each other,but a very strange thing happened.It felt like all the questions,fears and answers in my eyes were saying no to him.
That day he took me around the city with his eyes, And it was so special for that I couldn't even tell him.
Then, it was time to say goodbye in the evening and I didn't even realize how I spent the entire evening with this person,with this unknown person this is what happens when you meet someone for the first time and click.
The vibes matches,you tell him everything without laughing or stopping you start looking exactly like him,So even after meeting him everything started looking like this.
But we both knew,we both knew that with every hello and first meet, there is a last meet, a goodbye.
And you know he was totally different From my potential dream boyfriend list, He used to smoke,he didn't even drink tea ,he used to do 7-8 casual,and he was a long distance. But, despite of all the dissimilarities,I decided to give it a chance.
This what happens when you give a chance to someone in your life just like I did,But when we met for the last time ,he drank tea before leaving and he gave me a promise ring and he said, Deepa, this is a promise ring and I promise you that I will be very honest with you.we listen to don't go yet together in those wire earphones And I gave him a letter,and in that letter,my favorite song 'Yellow by Coldplay' This song has been very close to my heart.
And I used to think that if ever fall in love with someone this song will be in their name so that is how it all started.I came a long way I wrote a song for you,And all the things you do,they were all yellow.
So when I was going back to my city the next day I was feeling yellow butterfies in my stomach everything felt different It felt like I found my own in a new city.And I hadn't even returned home yet that I was feeling like meeting him again.
The next day,the next night, everything started to be normal and special we used to work all day and talk at night , He uses to send me memes we used to laugh at the same jokes on Google meets,He used to make tea for me, And he had introduced me to his best friend.
Across the screen the lines between us had kept us apart but these distances felt a little less because at the end of the day we used to find time for each other.
But you know I realized that sometimes you can't know a person after giving him time Even if you spend your whole life together you and I can't understand each other,But talking doesn't mean just talking The other person should also try to understand so I just ignored it I removed all the red flags and he had become a green forest for me.
We used to talk a lot but gradually I started to realize that this story is somewhere else I used to write him poems all day long I used to drop random voice notes and I started getting a common reply I was getting scared, Because I didn't want this story to end like every other G zen love story we met we finally met and we got a chance to meet again we had planned everything before we met we would go on vacation we would watch Meet & Greet we would re-create.
All those things which could bring us closer to each other I decided to stay with him that night,But something very strange happened that night, It felt like all h wanted was something I was not ready for all it felt like,he liked me on the white sheets it felt like he didn't want to do all that we had planned, Rather all he wanted was sex .
That night, I tried my best to make him understand I told him many times I won't be able to do this, I have never done this,I don't know how it feels I don't even know,
I get scared when I hear it,
Let it be, And he said
Just try it once we will meet again At that moment, I was completely broken.
It felt like he was not the person I knew
iIt felt like all those things were all lies,
that night,
I told him many times,Every word I said had a no in it But he was not ready to understand and listen After all his failures and his disappointment, before going to sleep,he said me one thing.
Deepa, I have some sexual needs and it felt like the end of the story.
The next day, I knew that we would part ways I would go to my city, and he would go to his house.
So before leaving,I told him
Listen,I think we should end this if this doesn't happen you want something else and I want something else I will never be able to give you this.
So, Let it be, He said
Take your time and think about it
what's the hurry?I took my time I thought,I thought a lot and the next day I dropped him a voice note, For 3 minutes
For 22 seconds, I told him everything,
I told him.
Listen,I wasn't able to do it that night But you wanted it And I couldn't do it I wish you could hear me once,I wish you could understand me once All those issues were in my body.they were my traumas.
But how,and how many times did I explain it to you ?
Today, I delivered that voice note for 6 months, sent before sending him that last text I thought a lot, I pressed backspace 20 times,I stopped my heart 100 times,
I explained myself 1000 times.
But this is how it is in life sometimes,that one person leaves you with no many questions that you feel helpless.
So, today we don't talk But I feel that when two people are separated from a relationship,they become two different stories .
Those two different stories which are not shared,but are told in different ways.
I don't know how he told his story But in my story,I have still put a lot of blame on him.
Like,let me go
Like, don't stop me
Like,in his heart for me and you know
I feel that he will never comeback and maybe I won't able to give him that chance again But there is always a question with me.
'It was so easy to let me go if you had anything true in your heart, then you would have stopped me once'
And now I have realized that I will give love another chance in life But in any relationship you don't have to ask for honestly, You don't have to ask for efforts in any relationship.
Because there the things which make that relationship a relationship.
#story #reallifestory #deepastory #hewantedsex
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